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Note to Self: Just do as your told

note to self: You have to start listening to your wife more. Obviously you automatically tune her voice out whenever she starts to tell you to do something. And as always, you end up fucking things up which invariably leads to the wife hovering over you with the “I told you so” attitude. It sucks, I know, but if you just simply do as you are told, you wouldn’t constantly BE in the Dog House! Open up your ears and just *listen* for crying out loud. It’s time to change. Her constantly being “right” is getting old. So, if she tells you not to leave your glasses lying around just in case the kids get to them and break ‘em, make a conscious effort to do as she said and put ‘em away because the kids WILL DEFINITELY end up breaking them. If she tells you to take out the trash the night before pickup day, just do it because YOU JUST KNOW the trashman will show up extra early in the morning the day after she tells you to do it. And when she tells you to stop rough-housing with the kids, stop it immediately because in a couple of seconds after she tells you this, one of the kids WILL get hurt and start to cry. And when she reminds you that the minivan is low on fuel, immediately get your ass to the gas station and fill up the tank because God help you if she winds up stranded with an empty tank. You’ve had way too many close calls recently so take this as fair warning. Just do it because it’ll save you a lot of time and grief in the end. Yes, yes, I know it looks like you’re whipped but as most of us have learned by now, that’s what married life is all about.

Tags: marriage